SNATCHED!!!

I heard the song that I posted on my blog several weeks ago while I was on a trip to the valley.  I listened to the words and wept. This song could have been written about my daughter, Jeannie. My heart just ached for her and the wrong choices that she has made in her short life. But, being the prodigal daughter as I myself am, I understand the pitfalls of accepting Christ, only to "fail" miserably at the walk expected of you.  And, then run as far away from God as I thought I could, hoping He would just forget about the promises of change that I had made to Him.  I thought that He would just wave His magic God Wand and *presto change o* I was done! Since all I understood was that I was a sinner in need of forgiveness and I was full of shame and self loathing, I thought that I could just STOP sinning if I got saved!!! I was twenty-seven when I stopped running. Even in the pit of my despair, in the hole that I had dug for myself to hide from God, because I felt like I had let Him down, He touched ME!  I had no concept of God except what I had learned in Sunday school. I had no understanding of His Grace and just enough faith to get to salvation. This is one of those times when you say, "If I'd have known THEN what I know NOW....I'd have been ...."  God only knows why He has to rescue us back from the brink of disaster, but Thank You Lord for doing so. "Does anyone else smell smoke???"

Too... Much Mercy???

~Absence makes the heart grow fonder, outta sight-outta mind, so which is it? Does it truly have to be either, or? Who knows...who cares?
I disappear... Go underground or off the map, from time to time. It's a coping mechanism of sorts. When life slaps me upside the head...for whatever reason, sometimes I just have to regroup. A lot of people do that. Right?
Well, I'm not a lot of people. And, people are used to me being present and accounted for, not in the desert. I ran away to my safe place. Thank God I still have one to go to!

To those of  you who care, God has been dealing with me about mercy. You might sarcastically say that I am in need of a transplant of sorts. Believe it or not, I have too much. There is an imbalance in the cosmos, because of me. Yeah right! But in all sincerity...

           ~I'm a recovering codependent...working on perfection~


Without going into too much detail, or uncovering, there is a person in my life in much need grace. Instead of allowing God to chastise and discipline, I have given way too much mercy, because I love. There IS a balance. And, I sooo desire to be used of God, vulnerable to correction, open to His voice, that sometimes I give mercy when God is wanting His body to experience His correction, His mercy, and His grace.

Sometimes, when we don't listen or won't listen to the correction of the Lord, He allows us to Hit The Wall so to speak, so that we may experience His correction, His mercy, His love, His grace. Sometimes we are confused as to His plans and purposes. And, rather than allow Him to work His plan in someone's life, we JUMP ahead. Which prevents that abrupt stop, and Hitting The Wall. The world calls that enabling or being codependent. I some how think that God refers to it as works without faith, dead works. 


          ~It's not the fall that will hurt you, it's that abrupt STOP that can kill you.~


And, isn't that what it's all about???
From my studies of the Word, I see over and over the theme of dying to one's self that the resurrection life of Christ might be formed in us. Less of me, more of Him. That is accomplished by His Grace


                           ~the divine influence upon the heart, and its reflection in the life~


So, NEXT time that I disappear, pray for me...that God would accomplish that Good Work that He has begun in me. He's trying to KILL ME!!!! Truly, that I may walk in His resurrection life. Pray that it will be a quick work...until NEXT time :)